This is Hard.

I brought Obie to preschool today and as soon as he saw his locker he broke down in tears. I comforted him while I took him through the routine of putting his backpack away, visiting the bathroom, and washing his hands. Once these things were done he had pulled himself together but he made it clear that it was not in his plan to let me leave him there. I found myself there a half hour later, after all the other parents went home, with Obie still on my lap. Eventually, at a point when the speech therapist had his attention, I snuck out of the room. When I went back two hours later, I found him outside with his class and he was wearing a huge smile because he was the Line Leader. Afterwards, when we were home and I was telling Joel the events of the morning, I began to cry. I cried a lot. I know why we are doing this. I know he is benefiting from it (we really have seen progress with his verbal skills) but it's hard. It's hard having a kid who wants to speak but can't. It's hard dropping off a child at school and then picking him up and not having that child be able to tell you what they did. It's hard dropping Obie off and watching him break down in tears and not being able to tell me why he is crying. This is hard.